.Joy.

It doesn't always feel like joy. 

Sometimes it feels like 2:24am and you haven't gotten much sleep, but you're awakened to a crying baby who needs a(nother) bottle.  

Sometimes it feels like 6:13 in the evening and the baby is really fussy and you don't know why. 

Or sometimes it's 11:04am, and your baby is crying and you don't know why. 

Yet, there's joy. 

Joy because the crying baby or the fussy baby is the answer to so.many.prayers.  

Joy because the baby who smiles at you literally makes your heart leap in your chest. 

Joy because this child is a constant reminder of God's faithfulness and goodness.

Joy because, even though circumstances are not ideal, you have lots of 'extra' time with this child. 

Joy because after so many years and months of waiting and longing and praying and preparing,
he's here-in my arms.

Joy because God chose us to be the parents of this specific child. 
And to be able to have a bond with his birth family in a way that no one else ever will.   

On April 15th, I woke up with a sadness.  I was remembering a place I lived that I loved.  A place where I lived so intentionally.  Where everyday was filled with purpose and joy in knowing that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.  It was April 15, 2006 that my teammates and I had to leave that country.  We didn't want to leave.  We were sad to leave our friends, especially knowing that we might have endangered them and may never see them again.  

Ever since that day in 2006, I've lived with a sadness.  Not despair--because my hope is not in this world. Our friends were not dependent on us.  God's Name was not dependent on any people in that country, especially not the crazy American just-graduated-from-college-kids.  But I truly loved that place. And those people.  A large piece of my heart was left in that country.  So, remembering that place sometimes makes me sad.  Especially when I remember having to leave so suddenly. 

Source

But, this year, on April 15th, as I lay in bed with our son, something happened.  Tyndall and I were 'talking', and he got so excited and made the funniest noise, I laughed.  And Tyndall laughed in response.  He didn't know he was doing it and in fact looked a little frightened at what had happened.  But, then he laughed again.  And we laughed together.  And then I cried tears of joy.  God literally turned my sadness into laughter.  The first laughter from my son happened on a morning when I was sad.  The son who we have waited for, longed for, hoped for, yearned for.  Our son was laughing with me.  What a sweet gift from my Heavenly Father.  

Ever since then, He keeps reminding me that He is the Source of joy.  He is the Giver of the gift of my son that brings me so much joy.    

The Boston tragedy happened later that day.  And then the Texas tragedy.  I was reminded that we live in a broken world.  But we're not alone in this world.  There is Joy in the sadness, in the chaos, in the brokeness. 

Source

Sometimes, Joy overflows out of our hearts.  Sometimes, we must choose it.  Always, it is available.

Happy Birthday, Debbie!

Just a quick shout-out to a very special lady who has a birthday today!Debbie, I'm so thankful we were roommates in Uz. Man, we had some rough times, but I'm so thankful God redeemed our relationship and drew us close eventually. I'm so thankful we were able to stand with each other when we married our best friends. I wish we lived closer so we could keep growing our friendship!











Love you, Debbie!
Hope you have a wonderful birthday!

...And, Happy Birthday to you too, Becky! The 48 hours or so we've been together in real life was a lot of fun, and I'm glad we still keep in touch. I think you're pretty cool too! :)

Thanksgiving

I got to go to Atlanta for Thanksgiving this year and see part of my dad's side of the family. Matt had to work, so he stayed in Charleston. It was a little bit sad to not be together, but I was really glad I was able to see some of the Tyndall clan who I don't get to see often enough.

When I was driving up to Atlanta on Wednesday, it took me 3 hours to get to Columbia, which is twice as long as it usually takes. But, that actually ended up being a good thing because I got to see my friend Karl (a teammate from Central Asia) at a random gas station. He was driving from Orlando to Tennessee and ended up being in Columbia around the same time I was, so we met up. Yay for randomly seeing good friends! I picked up Valerie in Columbia, and we had a great drive to Atlanta, full of singing lots of good songs and also having good talks. Got to Atlanta pretty late but stayed up talking with Aunt Karen and helping her bake a little.

We slept in on Thanksgiving but still had lots of good time catching up with Jeannene and Grandma while helping Aunt Karen prepare for the Thanksgiving feast. Uncle Rob was watching football in the other room. :) Mom and Laura arrived a couple hours before we ate, so we all contributed to the meal a little, which is one of my favorite parts of Thanksgiving. I love it when everyone is in the kitchen together!


We had a great meal but then Valerie and I had to leave. More singing and talking on the long drive. I'm very thankful for a family that I enjoy hanging out with! Dropped off Valerie in Columbia then drove back to Charleston. All in all, it was a 34 hour trip but very worth it.

Just would have been better if we could have ALL been there... missed you, Uncle Kenny, Aunt Kim, Brittany, James, Bailey, Charlotte, Julianne and both Matts!

Dear to My Heart...

I received this letter recently from a friend. I've edited it just a little bit for security purposes. Please prayerfully consider partnering with her ministry. As an international student from a closed country, she has a limited amount of contacts to ask to join her ministry. If you are interested, I'll be happy to help you get in touch with her. She is on the left in the picture below.

Everything below is from (Holly):

“You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” Jer. 29:13

My name is (Holly). I am from a former Soviet Union country which is predominantly Muslim. Verse above is very dear to my heart, because I believe it describes my life. At school I was taught that there was no god. At home I was taught that the Russian people believed in Jesus as their prophet but we had Muhammad as our true prophet. For me, though, my father was like a god. He provided all that I needed and I depended upon him for my physical and emotional needs. I didn’t need anyone else. However, in my early teen years my world fell apart when my parents got divorced. I realized for the first time that my father was just a sinful man and all that I had trusted in was taken away. I found myself alone and wondering if there really was a God. I knew something was missing in my life, so I devoted myself to Islam to fill the void I felt inside of me.

About this same time I moved to the capital of my country, to study at the University and started living with my aunt. Soon I met with my new neighbors and later found out that they were Christians. They were very kind to me and made me feel accepted and loved. But I rejected what they told me about Jesus being for my people too and I set out to prove to them that Islam was the true religion and the best way to see changes take place in my life. For two years I followed Islam but nothing changed. I tried to act happy and satisfied with life on the outside but inside I was still feeling empty and angry at my father. I wanted to forgive him but I couldn’t. My neighbors continued to love me during this time and include me in some of their Christian meetings. Finally I realized that only Jesus could forgive my sins and bring about real changes in my life.

At this time my neighbors had to leave the country. I was feeling very lonely because I did not know of another Christian of my nationality, and I knew very little about my new faith. My friends and family began to persecute me because of my faith, and my aunt asked me to move out of her house where I was living.

One day I was on my college campus feeling very lonely and beginning to think that maybe I had made a mistake. Maybe all of my problems were caused by my leaving Islam. While I was sitting there having these doubts, an American girl who was just visiting my campus walked up to me. I found out that she was with a group with CCC on a summer mission trip in my country. She began meeting with me to teach me about the Christian life and she also introduced me to a number of other Christians of my nationality. Just when I needed it the most, God provided me with a Christian family. We formed a CCC group on our campus to reach other students for Christ. Jesus Christ had transformed my life, and I knew he could transform others as well.

I came to Austin, TX last year to study. Shortly after I arrived, I heard about the Bridges Children of Abraham conference for Muslim converts like me. It was there that I was challenged to consider that God might want to use me as a full-time Christian worker. I am passionate to reach international students for Christ and humbled that God may chose to use me in this way. My vision is to share the love of Jesus Christ with international students here in the United States. CCC has a ministry that lines up exactly with my vision, Bridges International.

Through Bridges, I can reach students who can take the gospel back to their home country. I am now raising my financial support for an 18 month internship with Bridges international. This internship will provide the necessary ministry skills training as I reach out to international students studying at the University of Texas in Austin. I am excited to learn all I can, so I will be ready and effective when the time comes for me to return as a missionary to my own people.

Since Campus Crusade for Christ has no central funds to support its missionaries, each staff member must raise financial support to fund all of the costs of health care, ministry expenses, taxes, and a salary. I must find a team of donors who can give monthly or annually to support our work. I would like to ask if you would prayerfully consider joining my monthly financial support team with a gift of $50, $75, $100, or whatever amount God would lay on your heart.
Please know that whatever you decide, I appreciate so much just having the opportunity
to share about what God is doing in my heart and through my ministry on campus.
One more time, thank you for prayerfully considering my needs.

In Him,
(Holly)

Thankful for 'Leaving Well'

God has me in a continual state of thankfulness right now. Though we are definitely sad to be leaving the people and some things in Thailand, it is a huge blessing that we are having a good transition and the opportunity to 'leave well'. I'm going to miss a lot of aspects of Thai life, but I've had time to prepare myself for those things.

I can spend time with my friends, go to my favorite places, reflect on our time here with people who have known us here. All these things are giant blessings! How do I know this?

Three years ago, when I was leaving another country, I didn't have the same opportunity. I found one of my past prayer letters that outlined the events that were consuming the time and energy of my team this time 3 years ago, when I left another country. ***
Beginning Friday, April 7th (2006), we experienced a lot of pressure from the local authorities which eventually led to us having to leave. It began with problems with our registration as a result of a law that was recently passed to intentionally target foreigners. Our passports were taken from us for a few days, during which we spent a lot of time at a local government building. We ended up paying a lot of money in fines and thought that our problems were over.

However, the day we received our passports back (Thursday, April 13th), Debbie’s English class and Jordan’s English club were visited by the police. Their students were questioned and detained, and ministry materials were confiscated from the guys’ house, where Jordan’s club was taking place. During that time, it became apparent that the city authorities wanted us out. By the end of that night , our country director made a deal with the police, over the phone, that our team would leave the city instead of going to jail. We were told we had a week to leave.

On Friday, we made a decision to stay in our city until Tuesday so that we could carry out our Easter outreach plans and have enough time to say goodbye to friends and pack (though a few days hardly seemed enough). We planned to show the Passion and the Jesus movies in a local movie theatre on Saturday and Easter Sunday to our friends who were interested. However, on Saturday (April 15th), police again showed up at the guys’ house in the morning with arrest warrants. Our country director was at their house (Praise God!) and was able to keep the police outside until all of the paperwork and everything was done legally. By the end of the day, the police left (we think because the guys' house owner paid a bribe for them to leave), and the guys were able to leave town immediately.

While the guys were stuck in their house for seven hours, Debbie and I packed (in the midst of destroying ministry materials) and hurriedly left town on our own. We all met up in the capital city late that night where we spent a few days deciding what was our best next step and waiting to see if criminal charges would be pressed against us. At the end of that time, we decided that it was best for our company and for the potential of some of us to return in the future, if we left the country as soon as possible.

So, we flew out on Thursday, April 20th, to Paris to be debriefed by the regional part of our company and to explore other places for us to serve. Unfortunately, no other locations worked out for us, so we plan to return to America Thursday, April 27th.

***
It's so bittersweet to reflect back on that time. There are so many friends who I wish I could have spent time with and said goodbye to. There are many places I would have liked to visit one last time. Many things I would have packed in my suitcase had I known we were headed back to the States and not to another secure country. Mostly would have just liked to have time to spend with the people who I had grown to love.

God is so good, and the experience that we are having here is a reminder of that for me. He's giving me another opportunity to 'leave well'... something that I'm realizing is so important.

Uzbekistan Videos

It's difficult for me to view movies online here, but this video was on one of my Uzbek friend's Facebook page. It's got a lot of scenes from the country that I love so much. The entire first minute is a countdown to 2009, so you can skip the first minute. As you watch it, pray for believers there... and pray for God's name to be made known in a mighty way. Thanks!

Then, I found this video that he made himself. It doesn't have as many scenes, but it does have the words to the national anthem at the bottom. Pretty neat. Thanks for praying with me!

Zack shared an eye-opener!

This whole post is copied from my friend, Zack. Brought tears to my eyes and a pain to my heart.

If the only news you usually get is from CNN or Fox News, you are tragically missing out on what’s going on in the world.

There are about 29 million people in Uzbekistan, a country run by a KGB hitman thug. Karimov’s cruelty and lack of respect for his fellow man is mirrored down through the government at every level, and the most startling example is in Uzbek prisons.

I was very close to going to prison there and witnessing the conditions first-hand, and the prospect of that made our country director so nervous that at one point he was trying to get a US military helicopter to hover over our house and air lift us out of our situation.

It’s rumored among the people there that some people are even boiled alive in prison as a method to force prisoners to confess to whatever crime they are accused of.

I once had my passport stolen by a police officer, and he wouldn’t give it back until I wrote a confession stating that I had committed a crime. That was our deal on the surface. He was really trying to intimidate our team into giving him a large sum of money to leave us alone.

All that to say, here’s an article I came across that is worth the five minutes to read it.

Here’s how it starts:

The treatment of prisoners in Uzbek jails has never been good: it has always been bad, but it turns out that the situation is worsening further and there is no limit for this.

Almost legalised mistreatment, corruption and the embezzlement of funds allocated for prisons are complicated further by chaos, established in jails, and the grave general economic situation in the country.

As a result, the lives of about 60,000 inmates in Uzbekistan have changed from hard to unbearable. Inmates are beaten up, mistreated, underfed and forced to do hard jobs.

The Many Seasons of Bangkok

At almost 11 pm here, it's 86 degrees outside. Having just come in from LifeGroup, our house still is still quite warm. We are not allowed to have the a/c on unless we are actually IN a room.

Anyway, thought it would be interesting to share with you about the seasons here.

Right now, in the States, leaves are changing colors, evenings are cool, and days are pleasant. This is my favorite time of year in the States because you can wear sweaters and flip flops at the same time and still be perfectly comfortable. Plus, it's just beautiful!

Even though it's almost November, it's quite warm here in Bangkok. To some though, it is 'summer'. The school is on a two-week break right now. Matt and I are teaching during this break, and it's actually referred to as 'summer school'. It feels weird. But, it's true. Last two weeks of October are 'summer school'.

Then, on the way to lunch today, we walked by a Toyota dealership. There are SNOWFLAKE decorations in the window. Snowflakes. In Bangkok!! Awesome. The funny part though, is that right below the snowflake decorations are flower decorations. It's like they were saying, "Yeah, we know it's never going to snow here in Thailand... so, here are some flowers to be a little more realistic." I got a kick out of it!

So, here we are. We hear about Summer and see Wintry Wonderland in the same day. Maybe Fall will show up eventually. :)
P.S. The picture above is from one of my favorite places in Uz... such beautiful Fall leaves!