Matt and I were picked up at the hotel around 2:00 for our afternoon visit. We met Hudson (who was wearing a new outfit!) again in the visiting room but then went on a tour of the orphanage. We got to see the other two main rooms where he has lived his life. We met one of the nannies from when he was an infant. When he would get upset and cry, others would rush up and give him some food which would make him stop crying almost immediately. Matt noted that treats seem to be the way to this boy's heart (at least for now). Hudson let us carry him around most of the time. There were still tears, but we also had some special moments of connection.
After walking around the campus a little bit, Matt got the reward of being the first to make Hudson giggle. He was tickling him while walking, and I turned around to see the sweetest smile and hear the most precious giggle. It was music to my ears, and Matt was just beaming. Hudson, your Daddy is definitely the funny one, and you learned this very early on.
The rest of our afternoon visit was spent in the outside play area. We played with a Thai alphabet toy and got to hear him saying some characters. We pushed him around on a bike (and played with a lot of other little ones who wanted some attention). As the afternoon went on, he definitely got more comfortable with us. We did more tickles and kisses and hugs and got to hear his sweet giggle more and more. His favorite nanny "Ma Kru" also spent a good bit of time with us, and we got some videos of her singing songs to him and talking with him. I hope these will be special to him one day so he can see how much he was cared for by her and many others.
When it was time to go, he rode in the van with us to the hotel. I think they are trying to get him used to being out and about more. Needless to say, we didn't want to say goodbye, but we were thrilled that the visit went so well. Loved seeing his eyes light up, and we loved seeing him more comfortable in the surroundings that he's used to. I loved watching his nanny with him and seeing her obvious care for him (and his for her!). The second visit was soooooooo much more encouraging than the first. It made us really look forward to Tyndall getting to meet him. :)
P.S. No pictures because we only have ones with his face from this visit.
Matt, Tricia, Tyndall and Hudson. Our life in Thailand.
Showing posts with label heart stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label heart stuff. Show all posts
Thursday, November 9, 2017
Saturday, November 4, 2017
First Visit with Hudson
Nico (a volunteer from Germany) and Phil (one of the social workers) picked us up in the orphanage's van and drove us over to the Boys' Home. When we pulled up and got out, there was a group of people (and a couple of little boys) outside. I scanned the faces and didn't think any of them were Hudson. They walked us into a small room, and there he was! He was sitting on a blanket with a few toys, playing by himself. He barely looked up when we entered. Matt immediately got down on the floor and started playing with him. I think I was a little in shock. I took some pictures, but it took me a minute to process it. This was our boy! In real life!
Immediately, I noticed some sores on his head. There was a place on his head that seemed swollen. I was concerned. The "momma bear" in me was a little angry honestly. Within a few minutes, the main social worker came in and visited with us. She addressed the spot on his head and said that they are much better and that he had been under a doctor's care. I felt better pretty quickly because they addressed it directly. She also asked what we wanted to know about him, and we said everything that she could tell us. So, within minutes of meeting our boy, we were hearing parts of his story. I was desperately trying to memorize every detail, knowing that these pieces of information will be precious to our son one day. But I was also heartbroken learning about his story. Truly sad that he ever had to leave his first family and experience such loss and trauma.
I was with this precious boy, this precious life who will soon be placed in our hands, and I was heartbroken about his first 2 years and 8 months of life. I also was given the impression that his coming into our family will not be an easy adjustment for him. I prayed. My eyes filled with tears. Deep in my soul, I cried out to the "Father of the fatherless", the one who "sets the lonely in families". I feel so unworthy, so inadequate to enter into his life. Yet there is a deep, rising LOVE for this precious boy that was instant, the moment I found out about him. It's overshadowed my feelings of concern. Matt and I shared a couple of glances. We wondered if we are "cut out" for this. If we are strong enough. If he would ever acknowledge our presence. ;)
As all of these conversations are going on verbally, all of these internal shifts happening, little Hudson has barely looked at us. He hasn't spoken. Has barely moved.
I finally ask the social worker, "can he walk? does he talk?" and she says "oh yeah!" and starts talking with him in Thai. He starts identifying different animal toys and answering her prompts to pick up different things. He got up and walked across the room to get a book, and we saw the first glimpse of his personality. (Or maybe the withdrawn, reserved Hudson is his personality too. We will know eventually.) I try to get him to sit in my lap while I read him a book, but he wasn't interested. It's okay. I know these things will take time. I don't want to scare him or overwhelm him. I'm a stranger to him. He has no idea I am his mom. At one point, P'Nan walked out of the room, and he cried. An intense cry that was honestly a relief to hear and see. More evidence of "life" within him.
After a little longer in this small room (which we found out he had never been in before), we went outside to go to his area of the orphanage. He took Matt's hands walking down a few stairs, and he let Matt carry him across the grounds. Matt was gracious and passed him off to me after a little while, and I was thrilled when he let me carry him the rest of the way to his lunch area. Then I got to sit with him and feed him lunch. He is a good eater and definitely seemed more comfortable surrounded by his friends and nanny. His nanny asked him to tell us the names of all his friends, and he did. There were 5 other kids with him that day. There are usually 10 in his group. We had already been told that he loved this nanny very much, but seeing it was a different experience. I felt a strange mix of feeling thankful that he has this close attachment but also sorrow to know I will take him away from her in the coming weeks.
Matt had some sweet moments of connection with him after lunch. We stayed in his area of the orphanage for a little while until it was time for his nap. They took us to the van and said they would come back to get us in a couple of hours.
We went back to the hotel and found Tyndall and P'Nui. We were anxious to tell Tyndall about his brother and show them pictures. We also started majorly coaching Tyndall about Hudson being pretty reserved and how he needed to be reserved at our visit the next day.
We all went to the area mall for lunch together. Even though it was just a local mall, I noticed some differences in Southern Thai culture compared to what we're used to. I was trying to soak it all in but also trying to process the last couple of hours. Such an intense and powerful and wonderful morning. And we knew we would get to see Hudson again in just a couple of hours!
Immediately, I noticed some sores on his head. There was a place on his head that seemed swollen. I was concerned. The "momma bear" in me was a little angry honestly. Within a few minutes, the main social worker came in and visited with us. She addressed the spot on his head and said that they are much better and that he had been under a doctor's care. I felt better pretty quickly because they addressed it directly. She also asked what we wanted to know about him, and we said everything that she could tell us. So, within minutes of meeting our boy, we were hearing parts of his story. I was desperately trying to memorize every detail, knowing that these pieces of information will be precious to our son one day. But I was also heartbroken learning about his story. Truly sad that he ever had to leave his first family and experience such loss and trauma.
I was with this precious boy, this precious life who will soon be placed in our hands, and I was heartbroken about his first 2 years and 8 months of life. I also was given the impression that his coming into our family will not be an easy adjustment for him. I prayed. My eyes filled with tears. Deep in my soul, I cried out to the "Father of the fatherless", the one who "sets the lonely in families". I feel so unworthy, so inadequate to enter into his life. Yet there is a deep, rising LOVE for this precious boy that was instant, the moment I found out about him. It's overshadowed my feelings of concern. Matt and I shared a couple of glances. We wondered if we are "cut out" for this. If we are strong enough. If he would ever acknowledge our presence. ;)
As all of these conversations are going on verbally, all of these internal shifts happening, little Hudson has barely looked at us. He hasn't spoken. Has barely moved.
I finally ask the social worker, "can he walk? does he talk?" and she says "oh yeah!" and starts talking with him in Thai. He starts identifying different animal toys and answering her prompts to pick up different things. He got up and walked across the room to get a book, and we saw the first glimpse of his personality. (Or maybe the withdrawn, reserved Hudson is his personality too. We will know eventually.) I try to get him to sit in my lap while I read him a book, but he wasn't interested. It's okay. I know these things will take time. I don't want to scare him or overwhelm him. I'm a stranger to him. He has no idea I am his mom. At one point, P'Nan walked out of the room, and he cried. An intense cry that was honestly a relief to hear and see. More evidence of "life" within him.
After a little longer in this small room (which we found out he had never been in before), we went outside to go to his area of the orphanage. He took Matt's hands walking down a few stairs, and he let Matt carry him across the grounds. Matt was gracious and passed him off to me after a little while, and I was thrilled when he let me carry him the rest of the way to his lunch area. Then I got to sit with him and feed him lunch. He is a good eater and definitely seemed more comfortable surrounded by his friends and nanny. His nanny asked him to tell us the names of all his friends, and he did. There were 5 other kids with him that day. There are usually 10 in his group. We had already been told that he loved this nanny very much, but seeing it was a different experience. I felt a strange mix of feeling thankful that he has this close attachment but also sorrow to know I will take him away from her in the coming weeks.
Matt had some sweet moments of connection with him after lunch. We stayed in his area of the orphanage for a little while until it was time for his nap. They took us to the van and said they would come back to get us in a couple of hours.
We went back to the hotel and found Tyndall and P'Nui. We were anxious to tell Tyndall about his brother and show them pictures. We also started majorly coaching Tyndall about Hudson being pretty reserved and how he needed to be reserved at our visit the next day.
We all went to the area mall for lunch together. Even though it was just a local mall, I noticed some differences in Southern Thai culture compared to what we're used to. I was trying to soak it all in but also trying to process the last couple of hours. Such an intense and powerful and wonderful morning. And we knew we would get to see Hudson again in just a couple of hours!
Monday, October 23, 2017
His Name ~ Hudson Arthit
The very first thing we learned about our son was his name. His name "Arthit" in Thai, means "Sun", and that is his current "play name" which most Thai kids have, like a nickname.
We did not know if we would give him a new name or not, but after learning he is so young, we decided we will. We have had some possible names in the mix for the past couple of years, so we revisited those first. And after learning his play name is "Sun", we definitely wanted to incorporate that. But we also love names ending with "s-o-n" because we want his name to be a reminder of his identity. (And it sounds the same at the end so hopefully will be an easier adjustment for him.)
We all loved "Hudson" the best and thought it fit him the most compared to others we like. We also like the meaning and immediately thought of Hudson Taylor, a pioneering missionary to China. And because it is the name his first mother gave him, we will keep his Thai name as his middle name.
So, he will be Hudson Arthit Flagler.
Meaning of Hudson: The name Hudson is the transferred use of an Anglo-Scottish surname originating from a medieval personal name “Hudde” which itself has three possible origins. One, it’s widely thought to be a pet form of the Old Saxon name Hugh which comes from a Germanic word “hug” meaning ‘heart, mind, spirit.’ Secondly, Hudde is also thought to have formed as a nickname for Richard which also has Germanic origins meaning ‘power, strong, hardy.’ Lastly, it could be derived from the Olde English personal name “Hūda” with uncertain origin but which gave its name to places like Huddington in Worcestershire. The surname dates back to the 13th century in Scotland and England.
Tyndall's name is also an Anglo-Scottish surname.
And Hudson Taylor's name is actually James Hudson Taylor, so there's another brotherly connection with the name.
On other websites, we read that Hudson can mean "power" which is a strong family connection with Matt's "Powers" family--and middle name.
Tyndall James's name reminds us of William Tyndale who translated the Bible into English, and Hudson Taylor translated most of the New Testament into Chinese.
So, it all seemed to fit, and as we decided throughout the rest of the day, it stuck.
A verse we are associating with his name is 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."
Funny side note: As I was researching multiple websites about the meaning of names, I read that Hudson was mostly used as a surname. It took me a minute to make the connection that my best friend Ginger married a Hudson in 2015, so it's now the last name of my dearest friend. So, even though it was not the reason we chose the name, it definitely was not a deterrent. And she promised me it wasn't too weird.
Hudson Arthit, you are loved!
We did not know if we would give him a new name or not, but after learning he is so young, we decided we will. We have had some possible names in the mix for the past couple of years, so we revisited those first. And after learning his play name is "Sun", we definitely wanted to incorporate that. But we also love names ending with "s-o-n" because we want his name to be a reminder of his identity. (And it sounds the same at the end so hopefully will be an easier adjustment for him.)
We all loved "Hudson" the best and thought it fit him the most compared to others we like. We also like the meaning and immediately thought of Hudson Taylor, a pioneering missionary to China. And because it is the name his first mother gave him, we will keep his Thai name as his middle name.
So, he will be Hudson Arthit Flagler.
Meaning of Hudson: The name Hudson is the transferred use of an Anglo-Scottish surname originating from a medieval personal name “Hudde” which itself has three possible origins. One, it’s widely thought to be a pet form of the Old Saxon name Hugh which comes from a Germanic word “hug” meaning ‘heart, mind, spirit.’ Secondly, Hudde is also thought to have formed as a nickname for Richard which also has Germanic origins meaning ‘power, strong, hardy.’ Lastly, it could be derived from the Olde English personal name “Hūda” with uncertain origin but which gave its name to places like Huddington in Worcestershire. The surname dates back to the 13th century in Scotland and England.
Tyndall's name is also an Anglo-Scottish surname.
And Hudson Taylor's name is actually James Hudson Taylor, so there's another brotherly connection with the name.
On other websites, we read that Hudson can mean "power" which is a strong family connection with Matt's "Powers" family--and middle name.
Tyndall James's name reminds us of William Tyndale who translated the Bible into English, and Hudson Taylor translated most of the New Testament into Chinese.
So, it all seemed to fit, and as we decided throughout the rest of the day, it stuck.
A verse we are associating with his name is 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."
Funny side note: As I was researching multiple websites about the meaning of names, I read that Hudson was mostly used as a surname. It took me a minute to make the connection that my best friend Ginger married a Hudson in 2015, so it's now the last name of my dearest friend. So, even though it was not the reason we chose the name, it definitely was not a deterrent. And she promised me it wasn't too weird.
Hudson Arthit, you are loved!
Sunday, October 22, 2017
It's A Boy!
14 hours. I waited 14 hours from our social worker's Line message about being matched. At 8:40 am the next day (I simply could NOT wait any longer!), I sent her a "good morning" sticker. She immediately wrote back that she was not at the office and had to go to a meeting so couldn't tell me anything more until the afternoon. Okay, I understood. I resolved that I would be distracted by teaching for the morning and could wait a few more hours.
But 25 minutes later, I noticed my phone started dinging like crazy. It was during a weekly prayer time that I have with some friends, so I waited. When we were done, I checked my phone and saw that they were messages from her. So I went upstairs to Matt's classroom (it was almost time for morning break), and waited for his kids to leave. There were a couple kids who needed help with math, so I helped for a minute but then told Matt that we had messages from K. A and asked if the kids could do the math later... :)
We read the messages together and learned that we had been matched with a BOY! And that he was born in February 2015. Matt said, "2015?! So he's 2?" We were truly shocked by this as we were open to kids ages 2-8 and even sibling groups. Our understanding was that most adoptive families preferred younger children, so we just expected we would be matched with older. So, shocked, but very happily.
She asked if we accepted the referral, and we wrote back, "yes, of course" and then immediately started receiving pictures of our handsome son! His face, y'all. The sweetest. I mean, he is just.so.adorable. (But we will not be posting any pictures publicly until the adoption is finalized, per the understood guidelines of adoptions in Thailand.)
After the first time we said we accepted this match, we learned about his current orphanage and a little more about his birth family. After we said we accepted again, we learned a little more.
We stayed in Matt's classroom for a minute soaking everything in and reading the messages over and looking at the pictures. Then we said we wanted to go tell Tyndall. But as soon as we got downstairs and saw Krissy and Abby & Bryn standing right there, we had to tell them. Krissy saw our faces and said, "you know?!" And we ran toward them and did a big group hug and I said, "WE HAVE A SON! AND HE'S 2!!!" And we burst into happy tears and jumped up and down. And took pictures. Because we want our son to know that this moment... This moment that we found out about him and "met" him through pictures was the very moment God placed him into our family. Just like it was with Tyndall. It is indescribably precious. Even with students crowding around "why are you crying, Mrs. Tricia?" and other teacher-friends sharing in our joy, at that very moment, God sunk this son of ours in our hearts.
Before we realized it, break was over and students were going into both of our classrooms. We realized we had to do real life for a little while. As my students came in and got settled, I did call my mom and send her a picture of her new grandson. :) I then told my first graders that I had just found out I have a new son. They didn't really understand, but it will be fun teaching them more about adoption this year. That was the hardest English lesson I've ever taught, and Matt would probably say the same.
Right after English is lunch time, so we went to find Tyndall in the lunch room. We wanted to tell him he has a new YOUNGER BROTHER! We told him and showed him a picture. Right away, he grabbed my phone and gave it the biggest hug and then started showing his friends "This is my brother". We spent a lot of time hugging and processing this news together (in the cafeteria filled with 1/2 of the school). Other teachers were hearing our news, and we were able to tell people who have been praying with us for these last 2 years that God has given us a SON!
Needless to say, Tyndall didn't go back to class. He probably would have been too distracted and distracting to others. Matt and I went to Chapel after lunch, and I could barely keep it together singing worship songs like, "My God is Powerful" and "By Faith". I took the rest of the afternoon off, and Matt came home during his planning periods. We tossed around a few names and then settled on a name we all liked as a family. That will be another post.
We learned more about him through the day (all through Line messaging) and just couldn't believe the way that God had given us another perfect boy to join our family.
Little boy, you are so very loved already!
Will you be praying for our boy? Will you pray for his little heart to be prepared to meet his forever family soon? Will you pray for us the next few weeks as our files go before the adoption board in Thailand for final approval? It's possible that he will be home with us before Christmas. It's a lot of change to happen in the next few weeks. Please pray with us during this time.
But 25 minutes later, I noticed my phone started dinging like crazy. It was during a weekly prayer time that I have with some friends, so I waited. When we were done, I checked my phone and saw that they were messages from her. So I went upstairs to Matt's classroom (it was almost time for morning break), and waited for his kids to leave. There were a couple kids who needed help with math, so I helped for a minute but then told Matt that we had messages from K. A and asked if the kids could do the math later... :)
We read the messages together and learned that we had been matched with a BOY! And that he was born in February 2015. Matt said, "2015?! So he's 2?" We were truly shocked by this as we were open to kids ages 2-8 and even sibling groups. Our understanding was that most adoptive families preferred younger children, so we just expected we would be matched with older. So, shocked, but very happily.
She asked if we accepted the referral, and we wrote back, "yes, of course" and then immediately started receiving pictures of our handsome son! His face, y'all. The sweetest. I mean, he is just.so.adorable. (But we will not be posting any pictures publicly until the adoption is finalized, per the understood guidelines of adoptions in Thailand.)
We stayed in Matt's classroom for a minute soaking everything in and reading the messages over and looking at the pictures. Then we said we wanted to go tell Tyndall. But as soon as we got downstairs and saw Krissy and Abby & Bryn standing right there, we had to tell them. Krissy saw our faces and said, "you know?!" And we ran toward them and did a big group hug and I said, "WE HAVE A SON! AND HE'S 2!!!" And we burst into happy tears and jumped up and down. And took pictures. Because we want our son to know that this moment... This moment that we found out about him and "met" him through pictures was the very moment God placed him into our family. Just like it was with Tyndall. It is indescribably precious. Even with students crowding around "why are you crying, Mrs. Tricia?" and other teacher-friends sharing in our joy, at that very moment, God sunk this son of ours in our hearts.
Before we realized it, break was over and students were going into both of our classrooms. We realized we had to do real life for a little while. As my students came in and got settled, I did call my mom and send her a picture of her new grandson. :) I then told my first graders that I had just found out I have a new son. They didn't really understand, but it will be fun teaching them more about adoption this year. That was the hardest English lesson I've ever taught, and Matt would probably say the same.
Right after English is lunch time, so we went to find Tyndall in the lunch room. We wanted to tell him he has a new YOUNGER BROTHER! We told him and showed him a picture. Right away, he grabbed my phone and gave it the biggest hug and then started showing his friends "This is my brother". We spent a lot of time hugging and processing this news together (in the cafeteria filled with 1/2 of the school). Other teachers were hearing our news, and we were able to tell people who have been praying with us for these last 2 years that God has given us a SON!
Needless to say, Tyndall didn't go back to class. He probably would have been too distracted and distracting to others. Matt and I went to Chapel after lunch, and I could barely keep it together singing worship songs like, "My God is Powerful" and "By Faith". I took the rest of the afternoon off, and Matt came home during his planning periods. We tossed around a few names and then settled on a name we all liked as a family. That will be another post.
We learned more about him through the day (all through Line messaging) and just couldn't believe the way that God had given us another perfect boy to join our family.
Little boy, you are so very loved already!
Will you be praying for our boy? Will you pray for his little heart to be prepared to meet his forever family soon? Will you pray for us the next few weeks as our files go before the adoption board in Thailand for final approval? It's possible that he will be home with us before Christmas. It's a lot of change to happen in the next few weeks. Please pray with us during this time.
Monday, February 13, 2017
A Day at the Barn
Today was a special day. I didn't know how much it would mean to me to share a barn with my son. It was unexpectedly awesome.
I spent a lot of time at barns when I was young. 4th grade is when I got the horse bug, and I was pretty obsessed for a few years. Outside of school, it was pretty much horses and volleyball. This carried through college when I spent a couple of years on our school's equestrian team competing at other universities. For our school, it was a club sport but the competitions were funded by the school, and we got to travel to huge universities and spend days at their awe-inspiring barns and equestrian training centers. One year, I was the team manager which my brother-in-law branded as equestrian team cheerleader to irk me. It's still a thing.
Anyway, today was so cool. I got to spend a few hours at a stable with some students and their families--and Tyndall.
The smells. The dirt. The manure. The hay. The leather. The tack. It was so very familiar yet not. Because we are in Thailand, and everything is different on this side of the world. Yet not. Because the horses/ponies/dogs of the barn were so very familiar.
You know what else? My dad often made the trips to be at my horse shows. I have several special memories of him watching me ride. And today I got to watch Tyndall ride, and it made me feel close to my dad. I'm tearing up even as I post this. It was so unexpected but delightful. A day I will treasure for a long time.
Tyndall? He was okay. He was proud that he was brave to ride the pony. He liked the cool stuff he got to wear, especially the gloves. He was nervous and wanted me to walk beside him. I did for awhile but then let him go by himself. Then he was bored and wanted to go faster. Or get off. He tried to get off, but then it was his turn to go into the trotting area, so he decided to give that a try. When the instructors and leads had the pony trot, he liked it but his hat was too big and flopped around a lot. He was ready to be done after that, so I let him be done. He was more excited about petting the horses and the hedgehog that my student Nut brought to the barn and the barn dogs. Tyndall is definitely a lover of animals. I'm so very thankful for that!
Monday, May 9, 2016
Spring Semester Recap!
Spring semester at GES brought more changes for us. I started long-term subbing in Grade 1 for Kristin who was out on maternity leave. Tyndall changed classes to K-1 since he was (mostly) potty-trained and needing a little bit more structure. That meant he also changed to having a "farang" (foreign) teacher instead of just Thai teachers, so it also made it easier for us to communicate and understand how he was doing during the day. He has loved being in the preschool class, and it's been a great change for him.
Because my job changed from part-time to full-time, we needed a helper for Tyndall after school and around the house. God brought P'Nui into our lives, and she has become more than Tyndall's nanny, our house-manager, shopper, dinner-prepper, Thai teacher, but an incredible friend! She is a sweet sister in Christ, and it's so neat to get to know her heart for others and for Thailand! She's one of the worship leaders at her church and helped lead Thai worship at our lower elementary chapel one week. We are excited for her to start seminary soon, even though we won't get to see her as much! George and his family also help us out a ton, mostly on Saturdays when we teach Joy Club. We are so thankful for them as well and continue to learn so much through their friendship. These friendships have been unexpected blessings, but definitely some of the most treasured ones of our first year here!
My Grade 1 class was full of life and adventure. I had (most of the semester) 23 kiddos who kept me on my toes daily. I loved hearing different accounts of their days and having lots and lots of questions and opinions and comments from their little (and big!) personalities. :) Thankful that I was allowed to spend a few months with them and prayerfully show them more of Jesus. I look forward to seeing a lot of those relationships grow over the years. Now that Kristin is back from maternity leave, I'm spending time with the lower elementary ELW (English Language Workshop for Grades 1-3) teacher since that's what I'll teach next year.
Matt has enjoyed teaching Grade 2 again (it's what he taught when we were here in 2008-2009), and he will be teaching Grade 2 next year, which means he will have a lot of the students I had this semester. That should be interesting! I really love seeing Matt as a teacher! He cares so much for the kids but also enjoys teaching them new things. It's just neat to see!
One thing that I've really appreciated too is that we live approximately 143 steps from our classrooms. It's so nice to run home on breaks and (for me) have some alone time. Most of my lunch breaks, I get like 20 minutes to myself which can help recharge me for the rest of the day, and I usually get a mini Thai lesson from P'Nui during lunch as well. It's not always easy having the school right outside our home, but a majority of the time it's a blessing!
In addition to teaching the regular daily school schedule (7:30-4:40), we both did a lot of tutoring and continued to teach the Saturday school, Joy Club. This has had its pros and cons but overall, it's allowed us to get to know more students and build more relationships with parents as well as have more spending money and giving money. I think it also helps us enjoy our family time a lot on the weekends. Matt and I typically have an afternoon date on Saturdays and then Sundays are full days with meeting with our church, eating lunch at Que Pasa with friends, naps, then hanging out in the evenings (lately we've been swimming in the evenings which has been fun!) and prepping for the week.
We had our first visitors in March! Emily and Sheila came to Thailand for their Spring Break, which was way too short. They were troopers powering through jet lag and experiencing Thailand in such a short amount of time. We didn't see them as much as we would have liked (in retrospect, we should have taken some days off), but we were super thankful for the time we did hang out. Loved hearing about their adventures in Kanchanaburi and Cooking with Poo and their day trip to the beach. My favorite was hanging out at their condo pool and getting dinner and foot massages on their last day. Can't wait for our next visitors to come at the end of May!
So thankful for friendships that have grown this semester! This stage of life with 2 working parents and an incredibly active little by would be incredibly draining were it not for life-giving friends. The kind who bring coffee and random snacks to your classroom. The kind you go get massages with. The kind whose kids play with yours. The kind who babysit for date nights. The kind who come over for dinner and don't mind making themselves at home. The kind who do games. The kind who do movies. We are thankful.
Overall, we continue to love our new lives in Thailand. Sure, we have rough days and days where the cultural differences and not knowing the language are hard and challenging and frustrating. More of them lately with trying to do business-sy stuff. But that's part of living cross-culturally. And we understand a lot of those things better this time around. The cockroaches and spiders and snakes and smells and heat... still not our favorite things. But it's easier to take the good with the bad.
All that being said, we are super excited to have time in the States this summer. We miss our family and friends A LOT and can't wait to see everyone and have quality time with everyone soon. I'm also excited for everyone to see Tyndall and see how much he's grown and what an incredible little boy he is. It's going to be GREAT to see him playing with his cousins and our extended family again. Only about a month away, and lots of fun to be had in the meantime!
Pictures are on Facebook. I'll maybe add some in here later for my own sake, but for now, I feel accomplished having gotten this done. ;)
Because my job changed from part-time to full-time, we needed a helper for Tyndall after school and around the house. God brought P'Nui into our lives, and she has become more than Tyndall's nanny, our house-manager, shopper, dinner-prepper, Thai teacher, but an incredible friend! She is a sweet sister in Christ, and it's so neat to get to know her heart for others and for Thailand! She's one of the worship leaders at her church and helped lead Thai worship at our lower elementary chapel one week. We are excited for her to start seminary soon, even though we won't get to see her as much! George and his family also help us out a ton, mostly on Saturdays when we teach Joy Club. We are so thankful for them as well and continue to learn so much through their friendship. These friendships have been unexpected blessings, but definitely some of the most treasured ones of our first year here!
My Grade 1 class was full of life and adventure. I had (most of the semester) 23 kiddos who kept me on my toes daily. I loved hearing different accounts of their days and having lots and lots of questions and opinions and comments from their little (and big!) personalities. :) Thankful that I was allowed to spend a few months with them and prayerfully show them more of Jesus. I look forward to seeing a lot of those relationships grow over the years. Now that Kristin is back from maternity leave, I'm spending time with the lower elementary ELW (English Language Workshop for Grades 1-3) teacher since that's what I'll teach next year.
Matt has enjoyed teaching Grade 2 again (it's what he taught when we were here in 2008-2009), and he will be teaching Grade 2 next year, which means he will have a lot of the students I had this semester. That should be interesting! I really love seeing Matt as a teacher! He cares so much for the kids but also enjoys teaching them new things. It's just neat to see!
One thing that I've really appreciated too is that we live approximately 143 steps from our classrooms. It's so nice to run home on breaks and (for me) have some alone time. Most of my lunch breaks, I get like 20 minutes to myself which can help recharge me for the rest of the day, and I usually get a mini Thai lesson from P'Nui during lunch as well. It's not always easy having the school right outside our home, but a majority of the time it's a blessing!
In addition to teaching the regular daily school schedule (7:30-4:40), we both did a lot of tutoring and continued to teach the Saturday school, Joy Club. This has had its pros and cons but overall, it's allowed us to get to know more students and build more relationships with parents as well as have more spending money and giving money. I think it also helps us enjoy our family time a lot on the weekends. Matt and I typically have an afternoon date on Saturdays and then Sundays are full days with meeting with our church, eating lunch at Que Pasa with friends, naps, then hanging out in the evenings (lately we've been swimming in the evenings which has been fun!) and prepping for the week.
We had our first visitors in March! Emily and Sheila came to Thailand for their Spring Break, which was way too short. They were troopers powering through jet lag and experiencing Thailand in such a short amount of time. We didn't see them as much as we would have liked (in retrospect, we should have taken some days off), but we were super thankful for the time we did hang out. Loved hearing about their adventures in Kanchanaburi and Cooking with Poo and their day trip to the beach. My favorite was hanging out at their condo pool and getting dinner and foot massages on their last day. Can't wait for our next visitors to come at the end of May!
So thankful for friendships that have grown this semester! This stage of life with 2 working parents and an incredibly active little by would be incredibly draining were it not for life-giving friends. The kind who bring coffee and random snacks to your classroom. The kind you go get massages with. The kind whose kids play with yours. The kind who babysit for date nights. The kind who come over for dinner and don't mind making themselves at home. The kind who do games. The kind who do movies. We are thankful.
Overall, we continue to love our new lives in Thailand. Sure, we have rough days and days where the cultural differences and not knowing the language are hard and challenging and frustrating. More of them lately with trying to do business-sy stuff. But that's part of living cross-culturally. And we understand a lot of those things better this time around. The cockroaches and spiders and snakes and smells and heat... still not our favorite things. But it's easier to take the good with the bad.
All that being said, we are super excited to have time in the States this summer. We miss our family and friends A LOT and can't wait to see everyone and have quality time with everyone soon. I'm also excited for everyone to see Tyndall and see how much he's grown and what an incredible little boy he is. It's going to be GREAT to see him playing with his cousins and our extended family again. Only about a month away, and lots of fun to be had in the meantime!
Pictures are on Facebook. I'll maybe add some in here later for my own sake, but for now, I feel accomplished having gotten this done. ;)
Thursday, August 13, 2015
GoodByes and Closure
Our families are awesome. Our friends are beyond great. Our life in Charleston was good. It made leaving very hard. Especially because we were making new friends through the leaving, or reconnecting with old ones.
When we just began discussing the idea of heading back to Thailand, one of my fears/hesitations was how FAST it was going to be. We knew we would need to be in Thailand at the beginning of August, and it was the end of June when this came up. I talked to one of my good friends, Kristen Fransman, who was also in the process of moving overseas for missions. She said in some ways, she wished it would have been faster. Preparing for over a year and a half was difficult in lots of ways. That made me feel better. And I knew it was probably easier on my heart to not drag things out. Maybe harder on those we were leaving though.
July was FULL of tasks and packing and details, but it was also full of visits and special memories. I was intentional to soak things up. Enjoyed watching Tyndall playing with his cousins, with our neighbor Jaylen, with my business helpers Adrienne and Bekah. Enjoyed coffee and breakfast dates and family dinners and rides in the car. Taking in the little, everyday things that usually just fly by. It was special to be able to soak up those moments.
Those things made it easier to let go of the cars, the house, the 'stuff'. Majorly downsizing my Mary Kay business was one of the hardest for me. At first, it almost kept me from coming. I invested a lot of time, money, energy and prayers into my business for over 2 years. It was hard to be asked to let go of that. Eventually, I felt "released". I'm so thankful I had a year-end celebration with my unit and got to see most of them. I'm thankful that our meetings in Charleston had some special time for me to say goodbye. Though I'm not fully done with Mary Kay, it will be very different.
Rehoming Zoe was difficult. Thankfully, Zeb made the arrangements and found a family for her who is perfect. Mom and "Aunt" Brenda made the actual exchange which also made it easier. The hardest part was Tyndall asking for her. When we would come home from somewhere, he would say, "Zoe, we're home!" and wonder why she didn't come see us. We told him Zoe had a new family, and he would be okay with that. We told him we were moving to Thailand, and he always asked who else was coming. Precious boy.
The GoodByes were very hard. Very hard this time. I know Tyndall is going to be so different the next time most of our family sees him. I know our nieces are going to change so much. We know things will change. That's hard. Pray for all these relationships and transitions. We miss our family so much already, and it's really just the beginning!
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| Our special friend, Jaylen. He has been at out house almost everyday for the last year+. |
When we just began discussing the idea of heading back to Thailand, one of my fears/hesitations was how FAST it was going to be. We knew we would need to be in Thailand at the beginning of August, and it was the end of June when this came up. I talked to one of my good friends, Kristen Fransman, who was also in the process of moving overseas for missions. She said in some ways, she wished it would have been faster. Preparing for over a year and a half was difficult in lots of ways. That made me feel better. And I knew it was probably easier on my heart to not drag things out. Maybe harder on those we were leaving though.
July was FULL of tasks and packing and details, but it was also full of visits and special memories. I was intentional to soak things up. Enjoyed watching Tyndall playing with his cousins, with our neighbor Jaylen, with my business helpers Adrienne and Bekah. Enjoyed coffee and breakfast dates and family dinners and rides in the car. Taking in the little, everyday things that usually just fly by. It was special to be able to soak up those moments.
Rehoming Zoe was difficult. Thankfully, Zeb made the arrangements and found a family for her who is perfect. Mom and "Aunt" Brenda made the actual exchange which also made it easier. The hardest part was Tyndall asking for her. When we would come home from somewhere, he would say, "Zoe, we're home!" and wonder why she didn't come see us. We told him Zoe had a new family, and he would be okay with that. We told him we were moving to Thailand, and he always asked who else was coming. Precious boy.
The GoodByes were very hard. Very hard this time. I know Tyndall is going to be so different the next time most of our family sees him. I know our nieces are going to change so much. We know things will change. That's hard. Pray for all these relationships and transitions. We miss our family so much already, and it's really just the beginning!
Here We Are Again! (Thailand)
It's our 12th day in Thailand, so I figure it's time to start catching up and processing/documenting things before I get too far behind!
I LOVE having the blog book from this blog last time around, so I know this will eventually be a great resource of looking back and remembering the great things God does! An "Ebenezer stone" of sorts.
I guess I should start with how we got here. I remember being on the beach one day with Matt and Tyndall. We did it a few times this summer, which was super nice. We were talking about our long-term goals for our family and our dreams for the future. Our current situation (at the time) was not sustainable. Matt was working 3+ jobs, and we literally had opposite schedules. Our family time was pretty limited, and we felt very stressed and worn thin. It was not fun seeing my husband like that when he is generally such a laid-back, easygoing guy. So, we had known that something needed to change and had been tossing around options for awhile.
On our beach day, (June 23rd), we decided for sure to sell our house and simplify our life. Get rid of STUFF. Live more simply. We met with our realtor the next morning and were thrilled with finding out the state of the market and our house's value. We could pay off all of our 'bad debt' and start fresh. But the "where do we live?" was harder to answer. We talked about what we wanted... to live with more purpose. To be able to do ministry as a family. We looked into Cares again. We looked into other schools overseas, and we even applied to a few. And then we started talking about being back at GES. For some reason, it seemed quite obvious. Things would already be somewhat familiar. We would know some people already. It wouldn't be as HUGE of an adjustment as the first time since we would already somewhat know what to expect. Within that next week, we applied, we interviewed, and we were offered positions. (Matt's IDEAL position, by the way, which wasn't available when we first started interviewing only a few days earlier!) We had lots of conversations in the meantime and started throwing the idea around to family... Tyndall and I actually were able to be with my family in Saluda the weekend of July 4th which was wonderful family time! While I was there, the house went under contract after only 4 days on the market.
So we decided. Back to GES. It was confirmed in our hearts, in our spirits in so many ways. Just a few days later, the house contract fell through... time for the 'test'. Did we really want to go? Was this the right timing? Lots of prayer and conversations and Scripture, and we still knew we were to go. So we continued selling all our things, closing down my Mary Kay business, preparing to go. Visas, passports, original documents all mixed in with the details of selling a house and packing up our household. Then the house was under contract again, after only 5 days this time. I was VERY happy to be done with showings. Keeping the house tidy and leaving for extended periods of time with Zoe and Tyndall was harder than I imagined it would be. :) But, we made it, and it was a pretty short amount of time. Thank You, Lord!
The whole process was only a few weeks... less than 5 weeks. Kinda crazy. Very faith-stretching. Very humbling and even painful in some ways. But, through it all, we pray we are being made more like Jesus. Less earthly stuff. More focus on eternal matters. As hard as it is to leave family, especially this time with Tyndall, we knew we were supposed to be heading into this new, different season. So, here we are again!
I LOVE having the blog book from this blog last time around, so I know this will eventually be a great resource of looking back and remembering the great things God does! An "Ebenezer stone" of sorts.
I guess I should start with how we got here. I remember being on the beach one day with Matt and Tyndall. We did it a few times this summer, which was super nice. We were talking about our long-term goals for our family and our dreams for the future. Our current situation (at the time) was not sustainable. Matt was working 3+ jobs, and we literally had opposite schedules. Our family time was pretty limited, and we felt very stressed and worn thin. It was not fun seeing my husband like that when he is generally such a laid-back, easygoing guy. So, we had known that something needed to change and had been tossing around options for awhile.
On our beach day, (June 23rd), we decided for sure to sell our house and simplify our life. Get rid of STUFF. Live more simply. We met with our realtor the next morning and were thrilled with finding out the state of the market and our house's value. We could pay off all of our 'bad debt' and start fresh. But the "where do we live?" was harder to answer. We talked about what we wanted... to live with more purpose. To be able to do ministry as a family. We looked into Cares again. We looked into other schools overseas, and we even applied to a few. And then we started talking about being back at GES. For some reason, it seemed quite obvious. Things would already be somewhat familiar. We would know some people already. It wouldn't be as HUGE of an adjustment as the first time since we would already somewhat know what to expect. Within that next week, we applied, we interviewed, and we were offered positions. (Matt's IDEAL position, by the way, which wasn't available when we first started interviewing only a few days earlier!) We had lots of conversations in the meantime and started throwing the idea around to family... Tyndall and I actually were able to be with my family in Saluda the weekend of July 4th which was wonderful family time! While I was there, the house went under contract after only 4 days on the market.
So we decided. Back to GES. It was confirmed in our hearts, in our spirits in so many ways. Just a few days later, the house contract fell through... time for the 'test'. Did we really want to go? Was this the right timing? Lots of prayer and conversations and Scripture, and we still knew we were to go. So we continued selling all our things, closing down my Mary Kay business, preparing to go. Visas, passports, original documents all mixed in with the details of selling a house and packing up our household. Then the house was under contract again, after only 5 days this time. I was VERY happy to be done with showings. Keeping the house tidy and leaving for extended periods of time with Zoe and Tyndall was harder than I imagined it would be. :) But, we made it, and it was a pretty short amount of time. Thank You, Lord!
The whole process was only a few weeks... less than 5 weeks. Kinda crazy. Very faith-stretching. Very humbling and even painful in some ways. But, through it all, we pray we are being made more like Jesus. Less earthly stuff. More focus on eternal matters. As hard as it is to leave family, especially this time with Tyndall, we knew we were supposed to be heading into this new, different season. So, here we are again!
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Thinking of You Today
Dear "L",
You have been on my mind and heart so much as this Mother's Day approaches. And today is Birth Mother's Day. I really wish we could be together today. I would love for you to see the child that both of us love so much. I would love for you to see his smile and hear his laugh and know that he is SO loved in his new family.
I am so, so thankful that you chose Matthew and I to be the family for your son. Again, I'll never know the things you considered or know fully why you chose us, but I have confidence that God led you to choose us to be his family.
I don't know how you're feeling today, and I'll probably never know the journey of emotions you have been through this past year. But, He does.
L, I don't know your story. I know bits and pieces, some pieces filled with hurt and pain and struggle. I'm so, so sorry for the sad parts of your story. But, I want you to know that you are Loved. Not because you're a 'birthmom', but because you're a creation of the King. God has a plan for your life, though you may not understand it. He can make all things beautiful.
Speaking of beautiful, I will ALWAYS treasure the picture we have of you with our son. You and your mom. Yet the sadness in your eyes haunts me. I'll never fully know where it comes from, what led you to choose adoption for your child. SO, when I see it, I pray for you. I pray that you will one day be able to rejoice knowing the purpose God has for your life. Not as a mother who placed her child(ren) for adoption, but as a Daughter of the King of the Universe!
One day, I hope we can meet, and I can tell you about how He changed my life. How He changed the sad and hurtful and painful parts of my story into Peace, into friendship with the Creator of the Universe. How He led me in this journey to being the mother to your son.
Dear L, you are beautiful. You are loved. You are valued, treasured, respected. Your son will always know these things about you. I promise. And I pray that you know them too.
Love,
Tricia
You have been on my mind and heart so much as this Mother's Day approaches. And today is Birth Mother's Day. I really wish we could be together today. I would love for you to see the child that both of us love so much. I would love for you to see his smile and hear his laugh and know that he is SO loved in his new family.
I am so, so thankful that you chose Matthew and I to be the family for your son. Again, I'll never know the things you considered or know fully why you chose us, but I have confidence that God led you to choose us to be his family.
I don't know how you're feeling today, and I'll probably never know the journey of emotions you have been through this past year. But, He does.
L, I don't know your story. I know bits and pieces, some pieces filled with hurt and pain and struggle. I'm so, so sorry for the sad parts of your story. But, I want you to know that you are Loved. Not because you're a 'birthmom', but because you're a creation of the King. God has a plan for your life, though you may not understand it. He can make all things beautiful.
Speaking of beautiful, I will ALWAYS treasure the picture we have of you with our son. You and your mom. Yet the sadness in your eyes haunts me. I'll never fully know where it comes from, what led you to choose adoption for your child. SO, when I see it, I pray for you. I pray that you will one day be able to rejoice knowing the purpose God has for your life. Not as a mother who placed her child(ren) for adoption, but as a Daughter of the King of the Universe!
One day, I hope we can meet, and I can tell you about how He changed my life. How He changed the sad and hurtful and painful parts of my story into Peace, into friendship with the Creator of the Universe. How He led me in this journey to being the mother to your son.
Dear L, you are beautiful. You are loved. You are valued, treasured, respected. Your son will always know these things about you. I promise. And I pray that you know them too.
Love,
Tricia
Thursday, April 25, 2013
.Joy.
It doesn't always feel like joy.
Sometimes it feels like 2:24am and you haven't gotten much sleep, but you're awakened to a crying baby who needs a(nother) bottle.
Sometimes it feels like 6:13 in the evening and the baby is really fussy and you don't know why.
Or sometimes it's 11:04am, and your baby is crying and you don't know why.
Sometimes it feels like 6:13 in the evening and the baby is really fussy and you don't know why.
Or sometimes it's 11:04am, and your baby is crying and you don't know why.
Yet, there's joy.
Joy because the crying baby or the fussy baby is the answer to so.many.prayers.
Joy because the baby who smiles at you literally makes your heart leap in your chest.
Joy because this child is a constant reminder of God's faithfulness and goodness.
Joy because, even though circumstances are not ideal, you have lots of 'extra' time with this child.
Joy because after so many years and months of waiting and longing and praying and preparing,
he's here-in my arms.
he's here-in my arms.
Joy because God chose us to be the parents of this specific child.
And to be able to have a bond with his birth family in a way that no one else ever will.
And to be able to have a bond with his birth family in a way that no one else ever will.
On April 15th, I woke up with a sadness. I was remembering a place I lived that I loved. A place where I lived so intentionally. Where everyday was filled with purpose and joy in knowing that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. It was April 15, 2006 that my teammates and I had to leave that country. We didn't want to leave. We were sad to leave our friends, especially knowing that we might have endangered them and may never see them again.
Ever since that day in 2006, I've lived with a sadness. Not despair--because my hope is not in this world. Our friends were not dependent on us. God's Name was not dependent on any people in that country, especially not the crazy American just-graduated-from-college-kids. But I truly loved that place. And those people. A large piece of my heart was left in that country. So, remembering that place sometimes makes me sad. Especially when I remember having to leave so suddenly.
But, this year, on April 15th, as I lay in bed with our son, something happened. Tyndall and I were 'talking', and he got so excited and made the funniest noise, I laughed. And Tyndall laughed in response. He didn't know he was doing it and in fact looked a little frightened at what had happened. But, then he laughed again. And we laughed together. And then I cried tears of joy. God literally turned my sadness into laughter. The first laughter from my son happened on a morning when I was sad. The son who we have waited for, longed for, hoped for, yearned for. Our son was laughing with me. What a sweet gift from my Heavenly Father.
Ever since then, He keeps reminding me that He is the Source of joy. He is the Giver of the gift of my son that brings me so much joy.
The Boston tragedy happened later that day. And then the Texas tragedy. I was reminded that we live in a broken world. But we're not alone in this world. There is Joy in the sadness, in the chaos, in the brokeness.
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| Source |
Sometimes, Joy overflows out of our hearts. Sometimes, we must choose it. Always, it is available.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Finalization Day in Court
We went to court, raised our right hands, and swore to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
We swore that we have had "Baby Boy" in our care ever since we received placement. We swore that we have bonded with him and he with us. We swore that we have been married for almost 6 years and have a healthy marriage. We swore that we will do everything we can to provide for our son. We swore that we would like to have his name legally changed to "Tyndall James".
Tyndall's representative, who happened to be a family acquaintance from the church where I grew up, testified that after reviewing our home study and post-placement reports, and visiting with us, he thought adoption into our family was in Tyndall's best interest.
Stephani, Steven, and Hailey were present as witnesses and were invited to speak. Stephani said, through tears, that she was very happy for our family and knew that Matthew and I would make great parents. (At that point, I teared up.)
The judge declared us a family. (Something we have known and felt to be true ever since our first phone call.)
And she invited us to take pictures.
And then everything was official.
I think this day means different things for different adoptive families. For us, this was a very special day, but it was nowhere near as meaningful as you would think. I have honestly, truly, fully felt that we were a family ever since we received the call that we had been chosen for this baby boy. I was never fearful that his birth mother would change her mind (she had already signed placement papers before we even knew about him). I was never fearful that his birth father would come into the picture and choose to parent him (based on what we knew from the agency, this was never a huge concern). I always knew that our family was the family God had chosen for this child, and that this child was the answer to so many prayers.
I refer to 'placement day' as Adoption Day, because that's when things became official in my mind, in my heart. It's not the same for everyone, and I recognize that. But I'm so thankful this is how God orchestrated it for us. On Placement Day, we became his primary caregivers. We were given free license to bond with him and love him fully. We were legally obligated to care for him and provide for him. We became his parents that day.
But officially, on paper, in legal documents, that wasn't true. We were his guardians.
On February 11, when I lost my job, I became a little fearful. Our ability to provide for him had changed significantly, and I was afraid they would recognize that and choose to take him away. Thankfully, that didn't happen. Our agency and attorney understood the bigger picture--that we have bonded, that we would make sacrifices to provide for our son. We continued moving forward to make the adoption official.
Yesterday, the judge signed the adoption decree. Now, we are his parents. We will even be issued a birth certificate that lists me as his mother and Matthew as his father. That's pretty cool.
What's even more amazing to me is that God has known for all eternity that this day would come. Before I or Matt or Tyndall were created, God knew that we would be a family.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
God Makes Babies. People Don't.
Remember that one time I played an April Fool's joke and 'announced' that we were pregnant just a couple months after adopting our son?
Actually, it technically doesn't say that we were pregnant. But people assumed, which is what I wanted them to do... Because I cannot tell you the amount of times we've heard, 'now that you've adopted, you'll get pregnant with one of your own'.
Well, I thought it was funny. I figured most people don't truly believe big announcements that are posted on April 1st.
In fact, I had been planning it for weeks. I even gave the immediate family members a heads-up so that they wouldn't have heart attacks. Well, all except for my sister, Laura. I forgot to give her a heads-up. Sorry, Laura.
Within minutes, there were lots of very excited people. Only a handful commented things that hinted to April Fool's... several even said "I'm sure you wouldn't joke about something like this." I realized pretty quickly that people would have been thrilled had this news been true.
I texted or private messaged most people who commented, letting them know they had been 'had'. Most responded lightheartedly. But there were some who gave me a really hard time. After only a couple hours, I posted the updated picture and came 'clean'.
A couple of people who are dear to me told me this was a mean joke to play. Because there have been so many people praying for us and supporting us (even financially) on our journey to parenthood. They talked as if being pregnant would be the answer to those prayers. And I guess what I want people to know is: Tyndall is the answer to our prayers. A biological child wouldn't be any more of 'our own' child to us than he is.
If the pregnancy post had been true, I would honestly be freaking out. I am jobless and have no health insurance. And I have a 3 month old. This would not be an ideal time for a pregnancy. BUT, IF GOD chose to place life inside of me, then I would embrace it. Knowing that God is the One who creates life. Not us.
Actually, it technically doesn't say that we were pregnant. But people assumed, which is what I wanted them to do... Because I cannot tell you the amount of times we've heard, 'now that you've adopted, you'll get pregnant with one of your own'.
Well, I thought it was funny. I figured most people don't truly believe big announcements that are posted on April 1st.
In fact, I had been planning it for weeks. I even gave the immediate family members a heads-up so that they wouldn't have heart attacks. Well, all except for my sister, Laura. I forgot to give her a heads-up. Sorry, Laura.
Within minutes, there were lots of very excited people. Only a handful commented things that hinted to April Fool's... several even said "I'm sure you wouldn't joke about something like this." I realized pretty quickly that people would have been thrilled had this news been true.
I texted or private messaged most people who commented, letting them know they had been 'had'. Most responded lightheartedly. But there were some who gave me a really hard time. After only a couple hours, I posted the updated picture and came 'clean'.
Some laughed. Some didn't.
I didn't realize that my fun little prank was going to cause so much concern. And then this picture appeared in my Facebook newsfeed. Twice.
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| Ouch. |
And I felt like a terrible person. Why? I can't fully explain, but I'm going to try...
A few years ago, it was my heart that ached and pricked a little bit every time I saw a pregnancy announcement. It reminded me of my loss. And made me wonder, when will it be my turn? There was a season that I was a little bit bitter and resentful when I would find out about 'surprise' pregnancies. Actually, there was one only a few months ago that definitely made me run to the Lord and pour out my heart to Him.
And I'm so thankful for those times. It's helped me become who I am, and it's helping me be the Mom I am to Tyndall. Motherhood didn't come easily for me. There were lots of things that we could have done to try harder to conceive. But we didn't feel led in that direction. We felt called to adoption. And adoption wasn't God's second choice for us. It was His first.
We have friends who are pursuing infertility treatments. Going through painful surgeries and treatments in hopes of conceiving and becoming parents. I don't want to discount the pain and yearning and longing that these friends, and others, are feeling. It's real. Still, that was not the road God led us down.
But you know what? Even if He had led us down that road, it would have been Him and only Him who created a child. It's not timing or planning, or medicine, or vitamins, or procedures that create life. God does that.
Whether a pregnancy is planned, a surprise, free, or costly, God's behind it. I've really and fully learned that to be true. I've walked with enough friends through the heartache of waiting for pregnancy to happen (and experienced it myself). I've also walked with enough friends through surprise pregnancies.
There are no 'surprises' to God. Tyndall was not a surprise to God. He was created in God's perfect timing, grown and sustained inside his birth mother's body, then delivered at just the right time. For us to be his parents. As the answer to so many prayers. God made this child.
A couple of people who are dear to me told me this was a mean joke to play. Because there have been so many people praying for us and supporting us (even financially) on our journey to parenthood. They talked as if being pregnant would be the answer to those prayers. And I guess what I want people to know is: Tyndall is the answer to our prayers. A biological child wouldn't be any more of 'our own' child to us than he is.
If the pregnancy post had been true, I would honestly be freaking out. I am jobless and have no health insurance. And I have a 3 month old. This would not be an ideal time for a pregnancy. BUT, IF GOD chose to place life inside of me, then I would embrace it. Knowing that God is the One who creates life. Not us.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Adoption Day 1-14-2013
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The day began with another life-changing phone call... this time, from Tyndall's doctor. He went through a medical update, praised our involvement, then said, "are you ready to take him home today?"
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If the doctor thought our 3 pounds, 15.6 ounce son was ready to go home, we would make ourselves ready! Yes, we were ready! More than ready!
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So, we placed a call to the social workers (hospital & Bethany) and started packing up our stuff from our room at the Ronald McDonald house. The social workers had both heard different things about discharge day, so we went ahead and went to the hospital to spend time with Tyndall while we waited to hear for sure if this would be discharge day/Adoption Day! As we turned into the hospital parking area, it was confirmed. Today was Adoption Day! Whooo-hoo!
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We did the mid-morning feeding with him... started getting lots of instructions from the nurses... and started preparing ourselves for the reality of no more NICU. No more wonderful nurses to depend on. No more monitors to assure us everything was fine. On the other hand, he would be coming HOME! We would finally be a family of three!
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After the feeding, we went back to the RMH and packed the car, checked out, got the car seat hooked up and hurried back to the hospital.
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Our social worker arrived, and we signed the papers making everything official. His new name. His new family. Our new son.
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We already had an appointment that afternoon with a friend from college who is a photographer nearby. How special that she was there on Adoption Day--a day that will forever be special for our forever family! (These pictures by Blissful Photography of Greenwood, SC. If you're in the area, she's wonderful!)
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We then had discharge instructions with the nurse while Casey was photographing the most adorable boy on the planet. They stocked us up with bottles for the ride home... gave us many admonitions to keep him away from crowds for a long time... Encouraged us... Praised Tyndall for being such an over-comer! :)
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We made a couple stops before we got on the road... Babies R Us for a monitor and snuggle nest, Chick-fil-A for dinner, and then we were on the way! Our drive home was so peaceful and joyful! And when we got home, Aunt Laura and Aunt Steph came to welcome him home!
And we had our first night together in our home... and we both woke up for every feeding. It was just so wonderfully exciting! Sooooooo many prayers had been answered!
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Meeting Our Son 1-7-2013
It was a long weekend between finding out about him (post 1 and post 2) and getting to meet him. All I wanted to do was get to him and meet him and tell him he has a mommy and a daddy. I wanted to cheer him on in his growing and talk to him and tell him how much he is loved. I wanted to smell him and feel him and hear his cry. I'm so glad I didn't have to wait much longer than I did.
We woke up early on Monday, January 7th and finished packing and drove to meet Tyndall. We weren't sure if the hospital would let us stay and visit him, but we packed our bags just in case. We also had no idea how he was doing or if he would be close to coming home, so we packed everything ready for him to come home as well.
It was a wonderful drive, full of lots of loving texts from family & friends. It was beyond exciting with waves of nervousness followed by perfect peace. Matt and I just kept saying "is this real?"
We got to the hospital about 45 minutes early. I had taken the virtual tour of the hospital, so we went to the NICU to see if we could peek in at him. We couldn't see him, but I love this picture of Matt trying to catch a peek.
We went back down to the main lobby to wait for the Bethany social worker, and thankfully, she was early too! We spent some time catching up with her and asking her lots of questions. I was amazed at how completely sane and normal it felt (at times!). She showed us more pictures, and we even got to see pictures of some of his birth family, which was very special.
We had an appointment with the hospital social worker at 11:30. She was also very kind and understood our excitement. She walked us straight in to meet our son. We entered the secure NICU, scrubbed up, then walked into his room that he shared with 5 other preemies.
He was sooooo much tinier than he looked in pictures. But soooo much more adorable and perfect! We got to touch him and talk to him and introduce ourselves through the incubator at first. It was magical. Surreal. Amazing. Our son was right in front of us! We could touch him. Thankfully, the social worker and nurses took pictures!
We got a crash course in preemie care from the wonderful NICU nurses. They are so amazing at what they do!
After getting to know him a bit through the incubator and hearing from the hospital social worker that we would be able to stay and spend time with him, I thought it had been the perfect day!
But God had so much more for us... we could hold him! His current weigh was 3 lbs, 5.1 oz which was big enough to spend about 20 minutes per day in our arms.
It was amazing. He is amazing! We love you, Tyndall, and are soooo glad God chose us to be your family!
We woke up early on Monday, January 7th and finished packing and drove to meet Tyndall. We weren't sure if the hospital would let us stay and visit him, but we packed our bags just in case. We also had no idea how he was doing or if he would be close to coming home, so we packed everything ready for him to come home as well.
It was a wonderful drive, full of lots of loving texts from family & friends. It was beyond exciting with waves of nervousness followed by perfect peace. Matt and I just kept saying "is this real?"
We got to the hospital about 45 minutes early. I had taken the virtual tour of the hospital, so we went to the NICU to see if we could peek in at him. We couldn't see him, but I love this picture of Matt trying to catch a peek.
We went back down to the main lobby to wait for the Bethany social worker, and thankfully, she was early too! We spent some time catching up with her and asking her lots of questions. I was amazed at how completely sane and normal it felt (at times!). She showed us more pictures, and we even got to see pictures of some of his birth family, which was very special.
We had an appointment with the hospital social worker at 11:30. She was also very kind and understood our excitement. She walked us straight in to meet our son. We entered the secure NICU, scrubbed up, then walked into his room that he shared with 5 other preemies.
He was sooooo much tinier than he looked in pictures. But soooo much more adorable and perfect! We got to touch him and talk to him and introduce ourselves through the incubator at first. It was magical. Surreal. Amazing. Our son was right in front of us! We could touch him. Thankfully, the social worker and nurses took pictures!
After getting to know him a bit through the incubator and hearing from the hospital social worker that we would be able to stay and spend time with him, I thought it had been the perfect day!
But God had so much more for us... we could hold him! His current weigh was 3 lbs, 5.1 oz which was big enough to spend about 20 minutes per day in our arms.
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| Tears of joy!! |
It was amazing. He is amazing! We love you, Tyndall, and are soooo glad God chose us to be your family!
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