30th Birthday and Housewarming Party

Last weekend, most of our favorite people were able to be here and celebrate with us!  Thank you so much to everyone who came! 

Ginger and Lauren finally got to meet!

We had a nice drop in with turkey/pumpkin chili, a Fall salad, honey/corn muffins, Brunswick stew, ham biscuits, regular chili, cinnamon rolls, and S'mores!  Special thanks to Emily, Gail and Mark who made all the yummy food!  And special thanks to Ginger, Valerie & Laura for doing all the setup work!

Family by our new fire pit!

We especially enjoyed getting to spend time with our family and friends from out of town and the friends who are local who we hardly get to see.  We loved having the combination of friends from church, work, Cares, the old days, and even our brand new neighbors.  And we missed all of you who weren't able to make it.  

Settling In

 September 14, 2012   Closing Day!   Our First House!

We've been in the house over a month now.  It definitely feels like home.  

After some painting, cleaning and organizing...

and figuring out where to hang all our pictures...

 It's home. 

 

Home Study Legit, Again

Technically, when we moved into the new house, our Home Study was no longer accurate.  Had we been picked by a birth mom in the transition, it's something that could have been taken care of quickly, but after 3ish weeks in the house, we wanted to be 'legit'.


This past Thursday, our social worker from Bethany (we'll call her "E"), who is now more like a friend, came by to check out the new digs.  It was SO great to see her again in person.  We hadn't seen her since June 2011, but we've exchanged lots of emails and phone calls.  After she checked out the new house, we sat down and just talked.  We had lots of questions for her, and she was such a good sport to answer what she could.  

Ever since she left, I've been soooooo thankful that we are where we are.  We truly love working with Bethany, especially in our part of the State, and we truly trust that OUR baby will be arriving at the perfect time.  

Now, our attention will soon turn to fundraising again.  The thought of getting the call that we've been matched but not having adequate funds is a little intimidating.  

Here are a few specific requests we have for now:

• Pray for those who are facing unplanned pregnancies
• Pray for God to work mightily in the hearts of these ladies, for them to choose Life for their children, whether through Parenting or Adoption
• Pray for those who have chosen an adoption plan to have comfort and wisdom through the process, for picking their path (agency, attorney, open vs. closed, etc.)
• Pray for OUR birth mom specifically
• Pray for us to have wisdom with our fundraising.  We don't want it to be all about us but a way to help raise awareness for adoption, for orphans, and for God's heart for the fatherless.  
• Pray for the grants we've applied for.  We're currently waiting to hear from Caroline's Promise, Gift of Adoption, and Help Us Adopt

Sowing Seeds

In my last post, I wrote about why we are pursuing this particular path to adoption.  There are SO many options, and many of them less-expensive.  
I wanted to write a little about why the cost of a domestic infant adoption was never a huge deterrent for us.  

Let me start by saying that we are not millionaires.  We didn't don't have an extra $25k sitting in a bank waiting to be used for this eternal purpose. We have modest incomes and had a significant amount of debt when we started this whole process.  But we weren't worried.   We also weren't naive.


Before we were married, I was on staff with a college ministry where we raised our financial support.  I learned in that time that people want to invest in what God is doing.  Not everyone can live in a closed country and share the Gospel as their full-time job.  But, people can invest in that mission and be part of what God is doing in that country.  I had supporters of $5 to $200 a month who each got to be part of how God worked when He allowed me and my team to be on the mission field.  Without their prayers and financial support, we couldn't have been there as long as we were.  My supporters invested in sharing the Gospel with unreached people because they knew it was something God cared about.  He commands us to go, but not everyone can go.  Those who support the go-ers also get to be part of the go-ing. In the same way, not everyone is called to adopt, but people can still be part of adoption through giving and/or praying. 

Trusting God for the finances has been one of the best parts of this journey.  We knew know He will provide because He loves orphans.  We are pursuing something that is part of His character.  He is Father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5).  Jesus Himself was raised in a family that was not completely biological.  James writes "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world" (1:27).  He "sets the lonely in families" (Psalm 68:6).  Adoption is something God cares about. He will provide. 

The remaining $10,000 or so needed for the adoption?  (*Our price is expected to increase once we get a new home study done if we haven't gotten a placement soon.)  We are still committed to adopting without debt.  We will continue to apply for grants, do fundraisers, work side jobs and put money aside.  We don't expect God to drop it off miraculously in our mailbox (though He COULD).  We will work diligently and faithfully.   And we will continue to invite you to sow seeds of investment into this part of God's story.  You may not be called to adopt, but you can still share in God's heart for adoption. You can be part of this story. Information on how to become part of this adoption is available here. 

Why This Road?

It's now been two years since we've been on this adoption journey.  That's kinda crazy when you think about it.  And wow, it seems like a long time.  But, we have been so thankful for this journey.  

Many times in the last two years, we've been asked, "why?" 
Why domestic? 
Why private agency? 
Why infant?  

These questions have provided opportunities to dialogue with family, friends, acquaintances, and sometimes strangers about a bigger issue: orphans and adoption.  

Recently, we've watched friends celebrate children joining their families through other roads.  A family from our church started their adoption journey around the same time and has now had their son home from China for over six months.  Friends from Cru just went from a family of two to a family of four by adopting through the state.  It's been amazing to see the journey and to see these children get placed into their perfect, forever families. 

But of course, we wonder, when will it be our turn?  

Which brings us back to the questions above and why we felt called to and chose this particular road to adoption.  

International:  For us, international is a very natural choice.  We've both spent quite a bit of time in other countries, even for stints as long as 10 months.  We love other cultures.  We love learning about other cultures, and we love sharing the Gospel with those who may have never heard it.  We don't necessarily care that our children probably won't look very much like us.  International Adoption would make sense for us.  So why not International?

• International adoption is significantly more expensive, which was a deterrent for us this time around. 
• Most countries also have age requirements which one or both of us hasn't met yet.  
• Most countries are stricter with income levels which we don't meet at this time. 
• International adoptions have more strict guidelines for health of the adoptive families, which due to a history of anxiety/depression, we wouldn't be approved.  
• Will we pursue international adoption at a later time?  If God leads us to, absolutely. 

State Adoption:  This option would be significantly less expensive and probably shorter.  These kids need families, and we totally understand that.  So why not state adoption?  This one is harder...

• With state adoptions, it is normally older children. 
• These precious children typically (of course, there are exceptions) come from places of hurt, loneliness, and even harm.  We aren't quite sure that we have all the tools necessary at this time to give these children everything they would need. 
• Is state adoption out of the question for us?  Absolutely not. We fully expect to be in a better place down the road to be able to provide a loving, secure home for this type of child.  Just not right now.  

Why Bethany?:  

• We love Bethany's love for the birth parents.  
• We feel passionate about adoption being the better alternative to abortion and want to celebrate the choice the birth mothers make to choose life for their child. 
• We feel called to have a semi-open relationship with our child's birth-family.  We want to be able to build a relationship and show Christ's love to the brave woman (and the birth father and/or their families depending on the situation) who made the sacrificial choice of adoption.  
• They do a good job.  Though the cost is high, it's reasonable.  The services they provide to the birth family as well as adoptive families are done with excellence.  
• Before we chose Bethany, I wanted to 'research' what it was like to be one of their birth mothers. So, I went onto their website and started a chat with a pregnancy counselor.  I wanted to make sure the birth mothers were treated with respect, with compassion, with love.  I was satisfied.
• Our social worker has walked with us for two years.  Answered emails, phone calls, visited with us, trained us, and prayed with and for us.  For two years.  She has earned her salary.  
• Many people choose not to pursue a private adoption because they would 'lose' money they've spent along the way if they became pregnant.  With our agency, you pay for things as they come along.  Even if we decided to not do Bethany at this point, we would lose money that was only for specific services.  I am thankful they are setup this way.  We cannot get 'scammed' out of money this way.  They are an honorable, reputable organization. 

Do I love that we are one of 40 families in South Carolina who is in the same boat?  Waiting to be chosen by a birth mother or waiting to be matched with a child?  Not always.  Sometimes it feels like a weird competition.  When the emails come out about babies that are available, it brings a strange mixture of excitement/anxiety.  The constant wondering if somewhere there's an expecting mom looking through our profile, considering us to be her child's family.  That wouldn't happen if we were traveling down another road.  

BUT, we are confident that this is the road God has led us to, at this time.  Will we adopt later?  Probably.  Will we definitely go with Bethany?  Maybe not.  We are option to adopting however the Lord leads us.  It's His story, not ours.